I have a couple of suggestions for the would-be marksmen fervently preparing for the upcoming tournament:

1. Magicians are widely considered to be the best choice for target practice. Unfit and unfashionable, they can be seen at a thousand paces in their gaudy attire and offer a moving target. 1 I suggest saving a target and using a magician!
   
   
2. Don' ( Read more... )

How festive and cheerful you all are about the tidings of Christmas, but each and every one of you are remiss about certain key points regarding the season and the tyrant that orchestrates it. 1 I feel it's only responsible to clear up a few details about this mistaken holiday before you are too carried away by the apparent 'peace on Earth and ( Read more... )

Unleashing a horde of hawks upon the Keep gains you marks for creativity, but you are missing the mark by a substantial degree if you think that raptors alone could rid you of my enchanting presence. 1Obviously you lack the intellectual fortitude to assess the means by which to free me and gain some peace. As a being of magnanimity, I will offer ( Read more... )

Dear Mr. Mandrake:

There is entirely too much form and substance here. Where's that blissful rest you promised? You'll give my essence an ulcer with all this existing you've subjected me to.

This is almost the most pathetic dismissal I've ever had the displeasure of enduring. 1 I must admit that I expected better of you after that ( Read more... )